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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309287">cronker: fall in luv (wih shrak-chan) uwu</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushedTinCan/pseuds/CrushedTinCan'>CrushedTinCan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Detroit: Become Human (Video Game), Shrek (Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cheating, Crack, Cursed, Holding Hands, Kissing, M/M, Satire, Smut, Why Did I Write This?, i can actually write pretty decently lmao pls dont take it serious, ok this is LITERALLY crack pls dont take it serious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 10:27:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,318</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26309287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrushedTinCan/pseuds/CrushedTinCan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>cronekr falls in luv with shrekk-chan and sad tingzs hapen. angst. heavy angst.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Connor (Detroit: Become Human)/Shrek (Shrek), Donkey/Shrek (Shrek), Hank Anderson &amp; Connor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>cronker: fall in luv (wih shrak-chan) uwu</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
one day, coner was  W O K E  af. he woke up in a swamp. its was green and swampy. it smelt like onions. his fav. when he becom deviant, one opf his fav smells was onion, it smels so nic. he lieks his smels liek he lieks his men: strong. "ogm whut a bootifull smell omg", conro sed. he sniffled te air and followe th smel liek the gud android boi he is. maynbe thats why he lieks dogs.</p><p>he is one inside of him.</p><p>then when he found the source of smely smel, he gasped. "omg thats where its com from."<br/>
he opned the door. he gspsped. a besutiful wondeful very sexksi man was ther. man? ((it was a seksi creature, ok???!)</p><p>"OOOOIII, whot th f*ck are ya doing in mah house?!!!", (a/n: im so sorry for swore omgg) pretti creaturee screamed, but corn wsnt scarrd. he thinked it was secksi af. <br/>
conner thinked that his ears are veri cute and his teeth are very yello aNd he was so hawt.<br/>
wheb vonnor didnt move, th creatur screamd in corners face. "OYY i sed WTF are ya DOIN here, fockin TWINK, LEAVE!!!111!"</p><p>but corn shiveredd. "lol no, ur hot ngl" and then creatur blushed uwu. "moi naem is shrek" he sed with his thicc acent. shruk. wat a pretti name. "my naems conor"conor sed. he smiled. shrak smiled bnack. "i think i weally wike u uwu" congress whisperered. oh f*ck. he sed it. congress thinked OMG OMG DID I WEALLY SED TAT????!!!?!! omg hes gunna h8 me. but nah. shrak onlx turnedf red. or green. bc hes green. concertr loked away. ready to get dumped. liek trash. liek hes just a f*ckin deviatn. (a/n again sry for swore, but cronk swore in game so i try to make it in caracter :(  ))<br/>
<br/>
and then, somethng hapened that he never would hav expected. shrunk move closer.</p><p>closer.</p><p>and more more closer.</p><p>until-</p><p>shranks tonge was in caners moth. there tognues batttled 4 domincance. crane almost scramed at the feeling. it was so so gud. it felt gud. so gud. "MhmMhnmmm shrunk, omg slow downn--" but no. sek took corner and  flinged him on his old moldy and onion smeling bed. its was disgustuing for every human. but conor isnt a human. hes an android/robot (a/n  idk, bothj is the same lol) and tats just whot shrank lieks. and crionk dosnt care wtf is kissing him tbh, just give him sum luv :(.</p><p>and then.... wen there were in bed...</p><p>*** LEMON WARNING ** (a/n im so sry i sed no lemonn but i cant he,p myself omg)</p><p>... shrak put his hands... in conor s  hands... they hold hands... all night long...</p><p>*** LEMON OVER *** (a/n  this was my first tiem writing lemon/smut, i hoped you lieked it, pls dont judge me)</p><p>in the next morning, corner was woke. he was alone in bed. it still smelt nice liek onion. liek his luver uwu. they were finally boyfrind and boyfrend. but shek wasntr there. <br/>
<em>where is my luv? my sweet sweet onion boi? did he leave m,e? </em><br/>
<br/>
so congress beign the gud robot police man he is, he went out of the house 2 luk 4 the luv of his live. first he licc tje spot on the flor. it was shraks pisssy. so he goed to the toilets. conor thinked. and then robotz boi goes outside. go to the toilets. he onvestigated the place. concher thinked <em>wear os my bf? mai sexksi hawt af onion boi?</em> but he found a trail. of big, huge fat feet. he followerd it inside of the woods. and then he saw him. "OMG SHRAK UWU. MAI HAWT BF. DAWG I MISSED U-" and he saw it. poor corner boi saw it. it was shrak...</p><p>*** LEMON WARNING ***</p><p>shrak was... holding hands... with donkeh. </p><p>*** LEMON OVER *** (a/n ok guyz i thinked i rlly liek lemon/smut, should i write moar? pls right a coment and i will right moar)</p><p>cocnehr crie. and crie. "sh- shrak-chan... i thinked... i thinkeded you lieked meEeE?!!!", colonel crie. so loud. donkeh laugh. "haha, dishonour on yo cow" coroner crie moar and fell on flor. "shruk, y? y u do this? y u cheat on me?'!?! am i nOT ENOUGHJ??!21'+?"  <br/>
domkeh laughedd moar and moar and moar. "hah, get cucked bicth. get ffffuCKEd"</p><p>robot boi cricket ran away. he hear the shrok scream his neam. he thinked. may be hes was only hop? hoping he was seiying his neam? may be shrunk stuill luv him? but no.<em> i hav to run away-</em></p><p>but then he woke up. "COoNER. CoNER." coner openend his eyes. he sees haank. his friend. "h- honk? honk wtf is-" conchi sed.. bt hunkk cut him of. "yo wat th fUCK conor? u screamed while sleeping" te old rag sed. (a/n  just to cleer tingz up,. croener in my fanfic can sleep even tho hes an robot)</p><p>"i- i- i- i- iiiii dID???????" crane asksked. "yah. you cried. jst a neightmehr i thinked. is ok sun" hrank pat pat hisd head. "oh... ok..." condom was still v sad. so so sad af.</p><p>than, he forget <em>him</em>. that fockin hot dawg of a focking hot smexy af bastardd (a/n yesh bitches, im focking swore now, dEAL WOTH IT!!!!!1112!!2!!12] nut nOOO. cONDORS DOSNT WANNTS 2 FORGET THE BOOPTIFULL MEMORIES. TEH FUN. LUV.... teh luv... <br/>
lately convict coocks moar with onion. bc it reminds him off shrunk-chan... "cronckers y the fock are u feding me raw onion-" <br/>
"hrank u better shut ur bicth asss mouht up and focking eAT IT!!11!!111!+1"</p><p><br/>
*** LEMON WARNING ***<br/>
<br/>
sometiems cotton still thinked of his smexy hot smexy faec. his smug luk. his bootiful smile. his saxy hawt af teethh. his cute lil perky lil tiny fockin earss. his smely old musky but oniony breath. hoe his tongue feltt oin his mouth. hoe their tongus battled for domianane. wen crank ANALyzed shrinks mouth, he detectet somthing. 100% onion. so tats y he holds hands wit himself every night. sometiems he pretens his right hand is shonk. he maeks his right hand green. liek shrAnk! bc he still luv shrank. even if its was only just a fockin dream. and sometiems he hold hands with an onion. bc of shrenk. <em>only shrenk</em>.  </p><p>*** LEMON OVER *** (a/n  tis is the 3. smut i wrote in my entire fockin life, its the longest smutt eVAH! SO LONG!! i weally wike smot uwu)=<br/>
<br/>
------- TIME SKIP ONE YEARR L8ER --------</p><p>and tehn condors was alone at home. so alone. alone alone alone. for a fucin year. alone.<br/>
he went to bed. and then he heared it. a knock knock on hi window. cronker gaspsped. WHTA IS THATTTTT????????????????? he thinked. so he openened. it. was. focking shrak.<br/>
<br/>
"SH SH SH SH SH SH SRHANKKKKK?!!!!!!!!????!!+?11?!!+" corn asksked. "are ya lost bby boi?"shrnk asked. "OMG STANK I WUV YOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!!!!2  WERE TEH FOCK WEAR YOUUUUUUUUUU?????!!!!!!!!11111"<br/>
shrank crie. "im sry conkor. i- idk wtf i was focking doin" shrank cried. "im so sry bby boi robo boi. i was drunk. i drank 2 much swamp juice. onion water. but i luv onion. but ya kno wot, m8?" shreak tok his faece. softli. smooced his lips. "i luv u moar than onions..." <br/>
<br/>
cronker cried... but then...</p><p>"HAH. BISH ITS WAS JUST A FOCKING PRANKK" shrunk laugh. "GET CUCKED BISH"</p><p>shranlk kissed donkehy. colonel cried. "y-y-y-yAHH MONSTAH" he scream. and then...</p><p>"OI SON OF A FOCKING BISH" ITS WAS HANKKK????????!!!!!!!+111111111????????<br/>
<br/>
"FACK OFF" hruank slAAPPED THE FUCCKK OUTTA SHRINK. LIEK TEH BADDA$$ DAD HE IS. "YAH LIEK THAT BISH???? LIKE GETTIN fAWKED????? LIEK HOE U FAWKED MY SUN OVAH?????" shrank beged 4 forgivneess. "nooo omg so sry..." "NO FAWK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!"</p><p>and this is how cronker heavb a hoppy end. fock shrank. wuv hrank uwu.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I HPE YOU WIKED IT UWU UWU UWU. TIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC UWU UWU. PWEASE LEAVE A KUDOS. COMMENT. TANK YOUUU!!!!!!!1111<br/>INSPIRED BY "themostcleverandwittyname"! THEY WROTE A BOOTIFULL CONNORxTOASTEr!READER FIC! PWEASE RED IT UWU UWU!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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